Carbless Happiness

The unexpected is something that can brighten even my most sour moods. It makes my eyes smile. Genuine happiness. One such moment of this past week is worthy of sharing.

Trick of Treat…what?

Our daughter Zoe is a very happy child. She gallops, literally, around the house. She makes funny noises hoping to get a laugh or two from her dazed parents. Of course, I encourage her giggling; the absurd can be quite absurd. Zoe’s smile is so incredible and incredibly contagious. As Teri has learned, it’s hard not to laugh when you are mere inches away from that smiling face. During our sober walk through the neighborhood this Halloween, Zoe strutted in her horse costume far ahead of her siblings, placing herself in front of each door. And, out of the blue, a few doors later, as one neighbor grabbed a bag of candy, Zoe blurted out, “Trick of treat, poo poo head,” followed by a burst of giggling, “poo poo head, trick or treat”.

Trick of treat, poo poo head. Such statements lead us quickly into that “mortifunny” state that afflicts parents like us. Reminiscent of four year old Taylor’s “ah, my snowman melted, damn it” one late November afternoon four years ago, no amount of “now Zoe, that’s not appropriate” got through to her that evening, and that was before she ate any of that candy.

Trick or treat poo poo head. See, there’s my problem, it’s pretty damn funny.

Oh, Teri reminded me of one more Zoe moment last week. Here is the short conversation as recorded by my lovely wife... "Love is not meat, mom", said Zoe. "What?", said mom, who then looks around the room at the table where Zoe is stealing her sister's meat..."and Love is not stealing your sisters meat (off her lunch)", said mom. "That's stupid!!" said Zoe and she stomped off.

As a parent that once proclaimed to all that would listen, that he was going to attempt to raise responsible, well-adjusted kids without using physically, initimidating punishments such as spanking, this article/study is priceless.

The analysis of four studies by Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire-Durham, suggests that children whose parents spanked, slapped, hit or threw objects at them may have a greater chance of physically or verbally coercing a sexual partner, engaging in risky sexual behavior or engaging in masochistic sex, including sexual arousal by spanking.

Wow. Heh. I bet no one thought this could be true. It's fun to watch people get so upset when the use of spanking is assailed. "I was spanked and I learned real quick, not like these kids today that don't respect their parents" Blah. Blah. Blah. I've always felt spanking, unless it was a matter of life and death, was a weak, selfish means of achieving instant compliance. However, I didn't imagine that making the choice not to use spanking, slapping, or hitting, may lessen the chance that my children would have sexual problems.

Straus found that those who had experienced corporal punishment had increased probability of coercing sex, risky sex or masochistic sex.

Then, are children that have experienced corporal punishment, more likely to associate Happiness with aggressive, dominating actions? Is the way we think of Happiness a factor of choices made by our parents, and their parents and their parents?

I guess it isn't odd to consider that our parenting decisions will affect the quality, quantity, and type of Happiness that our children seek out. I'm glad I didn't give in to the natural urges that Man feels that leads to corporal punishment. I'm pleased that I have been firm in my desire to treat my children as I would have them treat me, and everyone else they meet. When I see the bullies around our neighborhood, and listen and watch the way my son acts and speaks, I'm tickled that all of the skeptics (parents, friends, and other family) have been wrong.

I made it Doug!