Carbless Happiness

I had an ah-ha moment while I was on the Reformer today. I realized that I am strong...maybe not as strong as the next person. But I am physically strong and I am emotionally strong, except for the average mother of three overwhelming moments. I am NOT perfect but I am trying to become a better person, and for me that is a whole body experience. For me happiness is partly how I feel about the way I look and partly the life that I am living. Let me explain.

I love my family and my friends. I like my house, although I would love it a whole lot more if it were closer to more of my friends and still in the area where all my family lives. I wish that I had a perfect, sugar cookie life and could have my family on one block, but lets be honest...that won't ever happen.

But the things I don't like about my self and my life are these; my weight, my hair ☺, my disorganized existence and my lack of motivation to fix any of these before mentioned issues. I know these are NOT that important but they are what life is made of right?? Don’t you agree? I guess what I am saying is I wish I had more self-esteem and more reasons to be proud of myself (which are one in the same). And I am working on that need, everyday! I workout 5 times a week(...sexy core baby!...), read my religious books, and try to be a good human being. For that I am proud. (Wait a minute! You sound happy!)

So after three weeks of working out, trying new activites ie: pilates and fitness yoga, I am still having a hard time dealing with the diet restrictions. I know it would help lose the unwanted weight, but it is a struggle. But I am determined to figure it out. I have been cranky, unreasonable and VERY sleepy and I tend to blame it on all the dieting/working out. But is it? Anyone have any experience with these feelings and Atkins? Am I alone? (I'd raise my hand but I know I don't technically count on questions like these.).

I wonder if I am overtly frustrated because of the weight issues or just my life in general. Don’t get me wrong, life is great, kids are great, my marriage is AWESOME. But I am so overwhelmed and frustrated and not being able to get anything accomplished around the house, going to school and this new goal of weight loss is just ONE MORE THING. So I wonder, does it ever become easier? Or is it just the weather? I hope it is the fact that the kids are cyclones of fun chaos and the cold weather (Cyclones...that's great! They are cyclones, sometimes cyclones of fun and sometimes not so much.). I just hope we get a warm, sunny day soon!!!

Or maybe, just maybe, Matt is right, the hot tub would solve a host of problems(Um...okay, I'll keep it clean, my dear.). HAHA!! I love that man! ☺

Okay, Okay, I was doing just alright until I read Matt's post...and ate a bagel. He is such a great writer (whatever). Here's the deal: I have been trying to lose some weight for the next exciting adventure in my life, my face to face meeting with Jon Bon Jovi in less then a month. Okay he may not notice me among the amazingly svelt blonds that will also be in the crowd with me on stage at the United Center in Chicago in late February. But in my mind he is singing to me! :) Don't worry, Matt knows all about my Bon Jovi crush as I understand his crush on Salma Hayek, and boy do I agree, she has a great personality and oh yeah, a GREAT body (Salma, there's some happiness, thanks Ter!).

But back to the reason I am blogging. I have tried Atkin's before and I will admit I have only done it right once. Eight years ago I tried and I hated the diet. Then the middle of last year I lost some weight (from the babies I have had) and was doing awesome, then had some surgery which stressed me out and had me running for the chocolate and Pepsi. I love Pepsi as much as I love Bon Jovi, if you can imagine that. So here I am trying to lose the twenty-five pounds still left from three kids, one husband, a few vacations and one HUGE addiction to carbs. So together we will see how it goes.